stop criticising plus size womenLets say it loud and clear: “STOP CRITICISING PLUS SIZE WOMEN!”

I started The Curvatures Boutique because I was a plus size woman who had no confidence.

How did I lose my confidence I hear you ask….

I lost my confidence with clothes shopping because the shops I liked didn’t cater for a plus size women at the time. 

My confidence nose-dived when eating in restaurants because people stared at me when I would fill my bowl from the salad cart, or a pudding came out or if I ate my meal quickly. 

I lost my confidence when food shopping because people would walk past looking in my trolley making me feel judged for what I was putting in there.

Is this fair? Is this how you treat another human being?

NO! 

Because of these examples I have given, I suffered with depression and anxiety. I wore big baggy clothes to hide under and I started staying indoors more, not wanting to venture out anywhere. This had a massive impact on my mental health and my relationships. My partner and kids felt like I didn’t want to do anything with them or go anywhere, and this led to arguments.

I have spent my life trying to lose weight and become “normal”. Trying to squeeze into smaller clothing just to fit in with society. But enough is enough. When you would rather hide and spend your life indoors then go out and live it, then something is clearly wrong. All this negativity and criticism and staring and judging is wrong.

Let people be who they want to be. My issue is that I love my food. It is not that I am excessive in what I eat, I just gain weight easier then others because my metabolism is slower then others. My son can eat like a horse and not gain a pound, whereas I can sit next to him and gain his weight just by looking at him! 

Why should it be that someone is made to feel they have done something wrong by gaining weight if their body is working slower then others? Why should it be that these people are made to restrict what they eat.

A Trip to the Doctors

I went to the Doctors a few months ago as the joints in my fingers and elbow were so painful. I had an x-ray and a blood test done to see if there was rheumatoid in my joints. They were also going to test other things like my thyroid etc. 

So I have this blood test, and called for the results. They said there was no rheumatoid detected which was a relief, but they wanted to see me because my inflammation levels were higher then normal. At this point you go into panic and Google, and before you know it, you’re self diagnosing!

A couple of weeks pass and I go to my Doctors follow up appointment, where I found out all the panic was for nothing as apparently these levels can increase if you have the slightest bit of a cold. But, the Doctor went on to say that I was 1 level away from being pre-diabetic. What do I do? I instantly go into defensive mode of “I have been trying to lose weight….” rather then be confident and say “yes I have gained some weight”. 

So now the Doctor’s only focus is to refer me to a weight management programme. All my other levels are healthy and fine or so the blood tests said. But now it is all about my weight. I agreed to be referred as a way to get out of this consultation.

I don’t know about you, but I know what I should and shouldn’t be eating. I know what I should limit myself to and what food is good and bad for me. So I don’t need someone sitting behind a desk patronising me about keeping a food journal. I know what I should do I was able to lose 35lb when I was focussed on Keto. But life and circumstances have impacted the food I eat, it is a temporary blip.

What really bugs me, is when you are feeling criticised for being a plus size, the burden on society’s NHS, the diabetes risk. Yes I am larger then the normal average, but that does not mean I am unhealthy. All my other blood tests showed I was healthy. 

So if I can work by myself (as I am capable) to watch what I eat and remove the rubbish from my diet then I am not harming anyone or being a burden. I am taking action to lessen the risk. I have friends that lead normal lives, yet have worse health then I do, but they are not being pulled over the coals for something they did or didn’t do.

I think what I am trying to get at here, is that if all society can do is point the finger and judge an individual for being overweight, then this ironically can lead to a bigger problem. This kind of action can lead to an increase in mental health issues, or reaching for food as a comfort. By using plus size models in adverts, or promoting body positivity, it is not condoning being overweight. It is trying to show that this has become normal within our society, and it is a way to lessen the exclusion we have felt in the past. 

It is not promoting to be a plus size, no one actually wakes up one morning and says my aim in life is to become a plus size. It happens and it shouldn’t be criticised.

Everybody has their own issues, their own skeletons in the closet, and it is wrong to publicise and shame a plus size influencer for trying to help other plus size women feel good about themselves. Just because someone is overweight, it doesn’t mean they are unattractive or can’t feel good about themselves. It is not about shaming others. We all need to look in the mirror and see our own problems before we go criticising others.

I am on a journey to betterment. I am not wanting to be over weight forever. I understand there are health implications to being overweight and this can take a toll over time. But I am also happy. I have put the work in and improved my mental health. I am more confident in my body and accept my shape and size. I am responsible for what I eat and it is only me that can choose to change that. I would never judge another person because of their size, because I know how that feels.

We are adults not children in a playground. Plus size is part of our society now, so whether you see a plus size women in a lingerie advert, or playing a main role in a film, or even walking past plus size women in the street, we should ALL be grown up enough to acknowledge that individual for who they are, not for who you think they should be. 

Be empathic and understand that there could be an underlying reason for this.